Sticks & Stones 3 – Do My Friends Build Me Up or Weigh Me Down?
When we were kids, our parents watched out for who our friends were. They would step in and encourage us to maybe find new friends. As a parent I did the same with my sons. I spent time with them talking to them about who their friends were and just watching their friends when they came to our house. We were so worried about who our kids are friends with when they are young.
Why does it change when we become adults? Do we ever stop and think about our friends and their influence in our lives? If what they say is true, that you become who you hang out with, then why don’t we think about our friends?
Our friends can do one of two things: they can build us up or weigh us down. We all have those numbers that ring on our phone that make us smile or sigh. We need to stop for a minute and think about whom we are hanging out with and what they bring to the relationship. I believe there are five friends that can build us up and give us a strong stone foundation. Let’s see how your friends stack up?
Smarter than you and further down the road
There is a verse in Proverbs 13:20 that read: “Spend time with the wise and you will become wise, but the friends of fools will suffer.” I once heard it said that if you are the smartest person in the room, you are probably in the wrong room. If we don’t have friends that are smarter and wiser then how will we ever learn something new? We will learn from the people we hang out with. The question becomes what are you going to learn? I need wise friends, because I do not know everything I need to know. My wiser friends can help me with problems, give me good advice and warn me of trouble coming.
A partner for hard times
Life has taught all of us one thing. Life is hard at times and can be more than we can handle alone. Life can be more than we bargained for when it gets tough. Ecclesiastes 4:12 talks about an enemy defeating one person, but two can defend themselves. The old song about stand by me is what we all truly need in our lives. A friend who will be there when life goes to crap is the most valuable person in the world at times. We can get through things if someone gives us the kick in the pants or the pat on the back when we need it.
Someone to call you on your stuff
This is the tough one to find at times. A person who will check you when you get out of line is another great friend. “It is better to correct someone openly than to have love and not show it. The slap of a friend can be trusted to help you, but the kisses of an enemy are nothing but lies.” Proverbs 27:5 – 6 It is hard to hear correction at times. Those are probably the times we need to hear it the most. So who is in your life that will not just let you keep making bad decisions but will call you on your crap? Of course, you do want them to have your best interest in mind. Lean into what they share with you.
An encourager to push you in a positive direction
We need someone who will give us positive direction in our lives. A person who will help us when we are discouraged, but talking us up. Life is discouraging, so find someone who helps you see the good in life. Hebrews 10:24 – 25 says, “Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing, but you should meet together and encourage each other. Do this even more as you see the day approaching.” Find someone who is an encourager to keep you moving.
A spiritual teammate who will be there for you
We all need someone who cries out to God for us. When Job’s life fell apart he talked about a spiritual teammate. “The one who speaks for me is my friend. My eyes pour out tears to God. He begs God on behalf of a human as a person for his friend.” Job 16:20 – 21 I believe in the power of prayer and God’s work in our lives. We need someone in our lives that can pray for us and challenge us to grow in our spiritual lives. They will talk about us to God and not others. It is a rare gift to know that people pray for us, and pour out their hearts to God over us.
So, do you have these friends in your life? More importantly, what role do you play in the lives of your friends?