Life Can Be Wonderful? 2 – Even When I’m Mourning
In close to 30 years of being a pastor I have stood by over 300 families as they said good bye to someone they love. I have seen all kinds of reactions from crying and wailing, anger, bitterness and peace. I have often thought that nothing reveals the heart of a family more than death. It brings raw emotion and questions to the forefront of our lives.
We all know that mourning is a part of life. But how and why could Jesus say that those who mourn are blessed. It is a question that I have wrestled with as I stood beside a family that is burying a pair of 8 month old twin boys or a 96 year old great grandmother. I always just wanted to help them see the good that could come from so much pain. I do know this: All our pain needs to be blessed by actually find the good that can come from it.
I believe we find comfort in mourning when we remember some things:
We Had a Person Worth Loving
When Jesus was on earth one of his friends named Lazarus died and Jesus went to the grave where he was buried. John 11:35 simply says, “Jesus wept.” He stood at the grave of a friend and cried. If our life has been blessed with a person we can’t stand to lose then we have had a great life. Many people lose others and there is not a reason to cry, other than we are supposed to. So if we have lost someone we will greatly miss then we have been beyond blessed to have had them for the time we did get to enjoy their lives with us. Sometimes it is just comforting knowing that you have someone in your life that is worth loving and loves you.
We Had a Time That Changed Our Lives
I was 12 when my grandfather Bob passed away. He had been sick for a long time and it was in the night I saw them put him in an ambulance and he died soon after that. That time in my life changed me forever. I had lost someone who meant the world to me and as I sat in the church listening to a pastor not even say his name that even as a 12 year old just seemed wrong. Now when I speak for a person to their family I say their name and tell their stories to honor them. My grandfather’s death made me think about other people and their grief and time of mourning. We need to embrace the mourning like it says in Ecclesiastes 3:4, “There is a time to cry and time to laugh. There is a time to be sad and a time to dance.” Our lives are changed by the ebb and flow of good days and bad days. Our lives will be enhanced as we live with the memory of just how short life truly is. So we better not just mark time, but live in such a way that we mark our lives with great memories and love from those around us.
We Had a Chance to Grow Stronger
Solomon, a wise king from a long time ago penned this thought that still speaks to us today. He wrote, “A wise person thinks about death, but a fool thinks only about having a good time.” When you live with the end of life in mind, you live it differently. You can stand up and be counted for something worthwhile and something that will change the lives around us. If we only live with today in mind, then our decisions will be to short sighted to make a change in our world. We will become stronger as we make our way through the pain. After all life is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what has happened to us. We are either someone who has lost someone or we are someone who had the chance to love someone else for a time. We become stronger with each passing if we stop to consider the life that is not visible anymore and the impact they made on our lives.
We Have a Way to Draw Closer to God
That word comfort means to walk along side and with someone. When we mourn God is there beside us. David even wrote in the famous 23rd Psalm about walking through the valley of shadow of death that He does not fear because God is with him. Many times we would love for life to be completely positive and just a good time. I have learned that if not for the darkness then the sunlight would not be as brilliant. We can be drawn closer to God as we go through our hard and dark times. He is there waiting in those moments to be our comfort. Lean into His grace and promise of love and peace that can guide us through the times of mourning.