A Life Without the B.S. #4
No Back Stabbing
There is an old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Don’t we wish this saying were true? The thing we need to realize is that words do hurt, especially when they come from those we trust. Gossip and back stabbing can really tear us apart deep in our souls. What if once again we could live in a world without that B.S. You know where you could not worry about leaving a room because you weren’t afraid of what was going to be said about you after you left. What if we could experience a knife free back for the rest of our lives?
To begin with we need to understand why it hurts so much when someone says something to us or about us. It is because when someone gossips about us it just stinking makes us angry. It is especially bad when they take something out of context or add a little juice to a story to make us look bad. It can be heartbreaking at times to be turned on by our friends or even our enemies at times. We want to ignore what is said, but anyone who has ears knows that words don’t leave us at any time. Words leave scars that don’t always heal as easy as skinned knees or cuts. Our heart and soul cannot always be mended when someone cuts us that deep. That is why it is always wise to watch our own words and remember that back stabbing pain is universal.
So, we are obviously not going to be able to rid the world of knives. How do we make sure that we don’t add to the scars this world brings our souls. The first thing we have to remember that just because it is said does not make it true. 1 Corinthians 4:12-13 (NCV) says, “When people curse us, we bless them. When they hurt us, we put up with it. When they tell evil lies about us, we speak nice words about them.” There is nothing that stops someone’s words like a nice response. It is hard to be good to people who are bad to us, but it sure does make them stop and wonder just what they are doing. When we refuse to get even or to fight back it takes the teeth out of the words that others say about us. At times we may want to strike back but then I remember another old saying.
“When you throw a rock at a pack of dogs how do you know which one you hit? The one that yelps is the one you hit.” So when someone starts throwing some verbal rocks maybe the best thing to do is to hold our tongue. If it is a lie you don’t have to defend yourself against it. The truth eventually shows itself. Plus if someone will believe a lie about you can you really consider them a friend in the first place. So if we don’t flame the fire then it will die out. The important thing is to not try to prove what someone said is a lie, instead let the truth of your life out live the lie.
We also need to remember that every word we say can have a devastating effect on the person we are talking to or about to someone else. Ephesians 4:31 gives us a command we would be wise to follow. The verse says “Do not be bitter or angry. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil.” We have to watch our own words before we go worrying about someone else’s. Just a quick question: How is your knife wielding skills? Do we pull the knife quick when we get a chance to put out a word against someone? Do we join in with others when they are talking about someone? Do we even think staying silent means we aren’t guilty; because silence means agreement at times. We should stand up for the truth, especially when we can keep something from going the wrong way.
It all comes down to how we want to live our lives. How do we want to be known for our words? Can people trust us with their reputations? Do those closest to us know that when we have their back it doesn’t come with a knife? It is a tough road to walk when it comes to biting our tongues, but it is a road that will not lead us to a dead end. The choice is ours alone to make. After all we control our tongues no one else. Will your words be encouraging or discouraging? Will you be helpful or hurtful? What do you want to be known for back stabbing or standing up?