Good Grief?
Part 2
Last time we began a discussion about death and preparing ourselves for our own death and for the death of someone close to us. We constantly live with the reminders that none of us are immune from death or really have the ability to know when our death will happen. We know that we need to prepare for that day by meeting with a funeral home and preparing the financial parts of the service. We need to make decisions about monetary items while we are grieving for someone. We can relieve some of the stress on our families by planning ahead with a pre-need meeting. This time I want to talk to you about the memorial service.
I passed out a form to our church members a few years ago that covered the elements that someone who is going to lead your family through these times will need to know. One of the hardest things for a family to do is to remember what you want or even to come up with how they want to honor you on this day. That is why I believe it would be extremely helpful to have some information for them that can guide them through these decisions.
The information your family could use is simple for you to compile before the time it is needed. You just need to make sure you write it down and give it to the funeral home or to someone who can keep it until it is needed. Here are a few questions to answer:
- Will I be Cremated or Buried?
Your family needs to know how you feel about cremation. You simply need to let them know if this is an option or if you are opposed to cremation. Many people have their preferences about cremation. Make sure your family knows how you would like your remains to be handled after your death. Where you want to be buried or if your ashes should be scattered in a place that is meaningful to you as a family.
- Is there a special reading or scripture?
You also need to let them know if you have any favorite Bible verses you would like read at your service. Are there scriptures that are meaningful to you? If not from the Bible then any readings or poems that tell part of your story and will add context to your service.
- What songs are special to you and your family?
What are your favorite songs? Pick some music you would like played or sang during the service or at the visitation. Are there songs that tell part of your story? Ones you shared with those you loved. Listening to your favorite songs will be listening to them again with you.
- What stories tell your story best?
It would be extremely helpful if you recorded your favorite memories and stories that you would like shared with your family and friends. Many times when I sit with families they struggle to sum up a life of in a few stories. Your favorite memories with them will bring them great comfort as they remember you and share their grief.
I know these seem like basic things, but they will prove helpful to your family when the time comes for your funeral. I hope that you will consider writing these things down and helping your family in the future.